Reclaiming My Time
Full stop… this has got to be one of the longest weeks of my life and while my head has accepted reality, my heart is having a hard time coming around. I am committed to pushing through this love hangover, though. As much as possible, I am avoiding anything that disturbs my peace. My presence on social media has been minimal (compared to my pre-election usage) and my mainstream media intake has crawled to nonexistent. I just don’t have it in me to listen to spin and watch news anchors turn themselves into pretzels to make the most dishonorable cabinet picks seem palatable. I always found clowns a little bit creepy, so watching this circus tent go up is a shitshow I’m fine skipping.
For the immediate future, I’ll be reclaiming my time. I’m recalling the energy I was releasing back into myself for healing. I have a ton of books that are waiting to be read. I need to start planning menus for the holidays and making any travel plans, as appropriate… or not (since travel plans are stressful). I am finding new TV shows to check out and some to catch up on. I am seeing new art in the forms of the spoken word, movies, music, and visual works. I am doing deep breathing and deep stretches. I danced today, something I didn’t realize that I hadn’t done in a long time. Something I used to do all of the time. I am meditating outdoors. I’ve been loving on and laughing with my family. I’ve been moon gazing. I am closing my eyes for longer stretches of time. Today, I screamed. I will very likely scream tomorrow.
I don’t have much to say at the moment except this: Don’t be afraid to find out who you are on the other side of grief. It is an intentional action, this loving me, and I am committed to doing more of it. Be encouraged in taking the time you need to feel your whole self again or learning to love the new you. I had to remind myself that I’ve been here before. I am no stranger to disappointment and hurt. The sun rose after years of living in pain, and it has been rising every morning since. Source/Spirit/The Mystery/The Great “I Am”/God has been kind enough to make me rise every morning, too. There is a reason we are here, and I believe the reason is for us to do good and get better over time. The world is far more interesting with us in it. So, let’s pause and heal… and then go out and add to that strong and beautiful legacy of making some good happen in the world.